As you can tell it has been awhile since I have been on this site to share what is happening in my life. Many people went through similar feelings throughout the pandemic that completely changed us. I am no different, there were so many changes that happened in the last year that were overwhelming. Today I wanted to discuss the work journey that 2020 threw at us.
My career that has taken a huge turn in the last year. I started this blog as an outlet to help me through some of my toughest times. I was extremely unhappy in my role and was constantly looking for a new position, somewhere, anywhere. It finally happened in March of 2020, I got a full-time position being a Nurse Consultant and was able to work from home due to the pandemic. This was the best position for me, it brought in the investigative side of me and included the need to use the computer daily. Both of these helped to improve my overall mood and panic attacks. Quickly I was brought into more roles, even helping train new employees. Everything moved very quickly, and I was asked to hold the position of Executive Assistant to the owner of the company. I felt (well looking back was pushed to feel) like this would be a great learning opportunity. Shortly after taking on this role it became clear that I would have been better staying in the role I was in before, but there was no turning back (that seemed very clear to me). Sadly, this position did not end well, and I no longer work there. It was a big blow to me; however, I have an extremely supportive husband who is always willing to help me.
I am grateful I did not let this get me too down. The night I was fired (yes, they fired me*) my sister and brother law were over for dinner and got to see the whole thing go down. They were extremely supportive and felt this was the best thing to happen for me. The company was not handling a lot of items well, and it was only a matter of time.
The next day I woke up early (really couldn’t sleep) and updated my resume and started applying to positions. There is only one point in my life where I was not working and that was my second year in nursing school. This was foreign to me and it was extremely uncomfortable. There was a lot of things I wanted in my next job and things I would not settle for. I had the luxury of being able to be picky. I did not want to back myself into a corner and get a floor nursing position, this would be my back up if I was unable to find something for over two months. Thankfully I was able to find one position as a Home Health Nurse, but quickly (a week in) got an offer to be a Quality Coordinator at a hospital less than five minutes from my house. This was my dream job because it dealt with reviewing charts, maintain databases, and working with people. My now boss wants to “grow me” a term she still uses today so that one day I can have her role. I am happy where I am however there is always a hope to be in a dream position where I can be off work more while my husband is home. However, this is the real world and not a fantasy. Maybe one day I’ll be able to work part time and take care of our children (more on that to come).
I still think daily about what I truly was meant to do on this earth and what my heart needs to be doing to not only be fulfilled but also have income. I still don’t know, and I do continue to seek something out to help fill a hole I have right now when it comes to my career. There was always this thought that once I had my masters degree I would automatically be fulfilled and everything would fall in place. Does anyone else feel like they are working at a job or in a career that isn’t fulfilling anymore?
Another huge thing thrown at us during 2020 was the fact that my husband was only home 4 months (wait, maybe only 3 and half?) last year. His company was hit with people moving to different roles and being short therefore he was needed to cover. He missed all the holidays and our anniversary for the second year in a row. This of course has been an ever-building bomb in my sole that I had to let loose when he got home. Thankfully, it was a really great open conversation about what we both needed (mostly me, he said he was happy with us right now. Lies in my opinion). We still have a lot of work to do with us and how to make this work until he can be back to even time, but we both want to make it work.
At this point we are just hoping that 2021 can give us some guidance on what is next for us. I am going to move through each day with hope that things will be better, people will be better. I have a one day at time mentality and I am trying to stay as positive as possible. I am focusing on myself and my family this year, hoping that everything will fall in place. The past year has given us a lot to think and feel about, I want to use what I have learned/felt to be better in 2021. Cheers to finding a new normal.
*please note I am not a worker that gets fired. I work more hours than expected, getting in early or leaving late as needed. This shook me to my core as I did not see it coming. I was extremely sick the week before and since have seen a specialist because of the constant issue. There was a discrepancy about my hours worked during my sick week, and instead of having a conversation with me they just fired me. It was sad, but also the best thing to happen to me as it is not a company I would want to work for.